Party Week is OVER!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE !!!! 

(whoever it is that reads this silly ole thing hehe)

Alright, let me tell you guys how this whole week has gone. On Tuesday, July 18th, I wrote a blog post (Follow Me on My Journey) about my weight loss journey and how I was going to do this thing and blah blah blah blah bla, right? Right..

Since I said I would write about my progress, I decided to write about how I HAVEN'T progressed anything, here is a breakdown of the discouragements and disappointments of the whole week, including the food I ate.

Monday:
My personal trainer cancelled my workout, it was my first day of working out and I was so upset about that.  I had started off my day real good, with a strawberry protein shake and for lunch I had cauliflower rice and grilled chicken. Super healthy right? BUT as soon as he cancelled on me, my friend Monet (bad influence her hehe) invited me to dinner... and guess where... EL PORTAL, San Leandro (Best Mexican Restaurant in the Bay Area.) I had a super burrito :( Bad me...

Tuesday:
I woke up and I was like, "Okay Jaqueline Herrera, get yourself together, today is a better day." I brought my lunch on this day. I had Zucchini noodles and a very small portion of meat and I was set to go... Just to find out, I forgot my lunch at home!... so guess what? I had tacos for lunch, because my co-worker decided she wanted to have tacos! Ugh, it is just not going right... I thought to myself, it's okay, at least you're gonna work out later. Well, nope, because my trainer for that day, slept throughout our workout time. So there goes that for Tuesday. I did eat a pretty good dinner. I had my zucchini noodles I was supposed to have for lunch hahaha.

Wednesday:
I didn't give up on the act of trying, so after sending a very heated text to my trainer, my trainer decided to message me and encourage me not to give up. So I said, "Okay, I will see you at 5:30 today." Since my workout bag was in my car since Monday, I figured why not, let's work out tonight.... I am off of work and I go to my car to grab my workout bag aaaaaand IT'S NOT THERE! So now, I've about had it. I decided to go swim with my family instead. I don't even know what I had for dinner that day or lunch... but probably something bad.

Thursday:
Worked all day, so no time for workout and also, I had steak and fries for lunch and Calzones for dinner... Not good at all people.

Today:
I will simply have Zucchini noodles for lunch, and dinner.... well, sorry  to say Everette and Jones BBQ right before my Open Mic event which I am so nervous about.(stay tuned for that)

And that sums it up folks.. It has been a bad week in regards to working out and healthy eating. Sorry for it but next week will be a better week. I am disappointed in myself but I just have to get up and dust it off..

P.S All the food I ate this week, has been sooooo good.... but soooooo bad. My co-worker said "Party week is over." 

Agreed.. for sure. 

I know yall can relate to this post.. because getting started after stopping is HARD.

-Jaqueline Herrera

Butterflies

Tick-tock , tick-tock

A snail is moving faster than the hour hand of this clock.

Fantasy when she closes her eyes might make it race,

But as long as Reality is taking place, time will move at a slow pace.

Being told there is excitement sounds almost like a dream,

That she is being missed is more to her than it may seem.

And what's happening inside, is something she can't show, it can't be seen.

Fluttering so fast ,

She's wondering where it is going.

How long will it last,

Or maybe the wind won't stop blowing.

The pretty version of the moth she had encountered,

Is now inside her fluttering, she is glad it found her.

-Jaqueline Herrera

I hope someone understands this poem.

Follow Me on My Journey

I'll have to take the stairs to my office now instead of the elevator (LAZY JACKY!)...Seriously -_-

Okay. Here we go....

I decided to do this because I am really bad at self motivation or discipline when it comes to working out and eating right. I love unhealthy, fatty foods and IT'S GOT TO STOP! Seriously... haha. I also decided to do this because not feeling good about myself is not an option for me and I do not want to get to the point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror. (This happens to people.) I used to be in really good shape and was very active, this all stopped when I stopped playing volleyball. Although I am not in HORRIBLE shape, I do want to get back to where I was or even better. I want to be fit and healthy!! I now play volleyball again and I am starting to become more active so LET'S DO IT! 

I am blogging about this, honestly, to push myself. I figured, "Okay, if I make this public, and give my weight out, then I better push hard because if not, I'll just look like a fool and .... a fatty (haha). Most people do this after they've achieved their goal. Most people plan on posting after they achieve their goal and NEVER post (I'm guessing because they didn't achieve it.) Well, I'm posting throughout this journey, periodically. I will be doing a lot of cooking (I hope) and pictures of my food on my blog, (I guess I have to now, since I'm saying so...) At the end of the month, I must talk about the progress or whatever results I have... So, here we go.. I wont be posting completely everything but I will try to post the important stuff. Hopefully I can keep up.

Side note:
I know people read this blog because I'm going on 1,000 views in less than 4 months. Now that right there, is pressure. (Nervous laugh)

Side note No.2:
I am no professional, soooo I won't be counting calories or looking at ingredients or anything professional like that (sorry), BUT I am going based on what I have learned and researched (Thank you Google).

Side Note No.3
I was an athlete before, so I do know what I am doing haha...

Side Note No.3.5 I am training with a prior Professional Soccer Player, who played for El Salvador so he also knows what we are doing.

Stay tuned for my weight and my weight goal.
How about that ^ for some blog views. (HAHAHAHA)

Oh this is great, I love blogging.

-Jaqueline Herrera

I Plead the 5th

I decided to put this piece out there because... why not? I wrote this some time ago and I thought I should share, because ... well... I wanted to share it.

It's based off of everything I was seeing around me and events that happened to me. Maybe some people can relate. I usually try to relate my pictures to my poems, but since my poem is a bit out of my comfort zone, I thought my picture should be too (smh)... My writing shows the anger I had with everything I saw people going through and their hurt, but writng is my way out and I know it may also help others, so expect nothing less than true feelings. This poem has no title, so maybe I'll call it "I Plead the Fifth"... for the sake of my blog Template and thanks to my friend Monet haha

Read on:

Lemme just get something out my system

Leave now if you got a problem with freedom

.....of speech

Because I Plead the 5th

Anybody can stand behind a pulpit and preach

(If their sins stay hidden)

People who agree yell out “preach!”
But…. if it’s directed to you......

you stay silent.

So….stay silent, this one's for you.

Stay silent.

I’m about to speak.

I’m about to teach

A lesson to my ladies and the guys that this spoken word will reach

Listen here…

Lately all I see is a bunch of BS

I just ask myself….

If you claim to love your lady, or wife…..

Why do you go looking for naked people having sex when you get the chance to connect to

wif(i) just don’t understand…

Is she not enough?

Do you not love her?

Are you dying of boredom?

What is it?

I seriously just don't get it..

So please explain the reason behind it.

Because all these women wanna know what's wrong with em

What they can do to get your attention again

And that’s wrong

Because someone else can love em better

Just the way they are

But they’re stuck on you because they love you even after.

After the fact

After the act.

After the wrongs and after the lack

of love from you.

Speaking for those that feel they’ve been wronged too…

What’s wrong with just loving what you have?

That person was once you’re better half.

Instead you’re out looking for a prostitute.

Don’t blame it on your past

Because I got one too.

One that’s much worse than whats happened to you.

Let me not get started.

Coward.

Trying to justify the reason you went to her house.

You sound retarded.

You sound stupid.

There’s no such thing as being shot by cupid.

But there is such thing as being shot by a bullet.

At least that’s what it feels like…

I’m just speaking about reality, real life.

Events that you don’t hear about.

Events that create self doubt,

Self hate

Due to people who don’t know how to appreciate

I’m tired of it.

And to be quite honest, it makes me scared

Scared of life…

Scared of loving..

Scared of moving on…

All hope of being happy and loved is gone.

Before getting started, I rather already be done.

I look to my left and my right and everyone is wronged.

I just don’t want to deal.

They say “learn patience”

And in my head, I’m just like “for real?”

Nawwwwwwwww……

I’m not gonna “learn” to put up

with something that doesn’t lift me up.

I’m not gonna “learn” to let someone feel like what they do is okay

Do what you want, I’ll get out of your way

because I’m not gonna “learn” to put up with your disgusting ways.

Or better said,

Get out of my way, I choose not to stay.

-Jaqueline Herrera  

Going Under

Surf boards in the crystal waters of the Hawaiian Islands,

Nothing better than to lay down as you let the waves guide you

Stroking the water to get as far away from the land as possible.

The waves seem to be so rough when you’re so close to land still

But the further out you get, the waves become more stand still

Fight your way through the  hard waves of the shore

Your arms will get weak but they’ll become strong enough to keep you paddling more

Battling more.

It’ll seem like the waves keep pushing you back as you keep pushing forwards,

And you struggle to keep going as your strength and willingness lowers

But inside you lives an ocean in itself.

The power of those waves are inside you as well.

And although it seems like they’re crashing against you

Crushing inside you,

Or…

Just crushing you…

There’s a power in you that holds the world in Their hand.

Understand?

So let the waves crash from within, it’s okay.

Let little drops of the ocean come out from where they want to stay.

Let the salty drops of ocean run down those sandy cheeks,

Because although you are strong,

the power of life sometimes makes us weak.

Salty waters weakens you, they say..

But once it has taken over it has the power to take over the world in every way.

I know you are paddling hard right now.

Against all currents I see.

Trying to escape where you are currently.

You’ve gone under because a wave caught you off guard.

Now you’re underwater trying to swim up

Through the pressure of water from up above.

Where you figure strength is supposed to come from.

And it does.

Just swim through the water,

breaking it with your hands alone..

Because after all, I know you can reach the man on the throne.

He who has a purpose and a reason for the currents

He who tells the ocean where to stop.

So the ocean drops WILL drop, til they stop

So just know…..

and I know you know..

Reach up, breaking waves

Even when all hope fades.

Dedicated to my Anie, My Ohana, and her loving father. 

with love, Jaqueline Herrera

Real Feelings

Because things aren't always peaches and cream and we would be fooling the world if that's what we wanted them to think.. 

I know writing about real feelings and real things can be uncomfortable to do..

AND to read.

But this is my way of expressing how I am feeling or experiencing at the moment, 

so I hope everyone who reads this respects that...

My poems are written for many reasons, sometimes I write how I think someone else is feeling or something I am personally feeling 

or going through. 

Anyway. 

Enough with the blabber....read on. 

My following poem is called Real Feelings:

I hate being vulnerable . I hate feeling

I hate loving, I hate living

I hate tears when they drop, I hate that dealy

Tears are for the weak,

Don't you get that?

….silly.

Silly of me.

I gotta tell myself, “Get with the program.

Is all about not caring at all

Is all about who you do and don't know

Who you have and who you really don't.”

I struggle in what feels like “everyday” in my life

I cry for days and no one looks at me twice

I guess they think it's normal for me to cry

I guess It's normal for me to feel

But late at night, I am up sobbing,

I pull my hair and rock myself

I want to drag a knife to my heart, cus…………

that's how I deal

With all the reject and the words that come stabbing at my back

or my heart?

I lost track…...

because now a days everything hurts.

Everything!

Especially my eyes.

Sometimes just my eyes…

everything else goes numb,

and my mind is so dumb

for thinking what it is thinking

While I'm in here writing

While I'm in here hurting,

everyone else is out having fun.

I wanna be happy too!

At least for once...

*****Morning Alarm*****

Sorry.

I fell asleep on the thought of being happy.

Man….I woke up to see another day.

Another day...

I have to see ANOTHER DAY!

Not sure if I woke up thankful to be alive or disappointed that I didn't die

In my sleep I wish,

well I wish I could just go peacefully

That way my family will never know how slowly you've been actually killing me.

I know you hate that I'm writing how I'm feeling.

Especially if it’s something real.

But My cousin told me not to be scared to feel

Express yourself, because nobody else will…..

So I will.

Because if not, it won’t be my poems you’ll be reading

It’ll be my will.

So….Don’t bottle in what you feel..

and that… is how you really heal.

-Jaqueline