My Dreams Became More Real

My nightmares used to follow me in to the real life.
Now they don’t even come out at night.
I told all my sorrows goodbye.
Because one day I decided to walk forward and smile
That was better than falling to my knees to cry.
Now I’m happy all the time.
Because my dreams became more real than the nightmares that haunted my life

Thanks to everyone who reads.

-Jaqueline Herrera

Frenemy

First and foremost: Messy hair, Don’t Care

The important thing about healing is that you learn to be open about your feelings... here’s a poem I wrote a while back... I’m not ashamed to write about REAL LIFE, REAL FEELINGS...

My heart feels tired and it needs a break

A break from the hurt, the pain and the constant hate 

I need time to heal, time to build myself up 

I got broken down to the point of no love

Thats where im at . 

I got no faith, no love, no hope

Everything stripped from me and I gave it all

Once again, I gave it all

After this there’s nothing left of me 

Nothing left to give 

Stripped down to just my humility and my low self esteem

See through like a window but reflective like a mirror

A window you can't break and a mirror you look into. 

Crazy , Psycho, but we all got our issue.

You can try to hide it but you also have a mirror.

Fool the world into thinking you’re something you’re not

But at the end, there’s no one left and you’re all you’ve got

And if you’re not happy with that 

then you just found your worst enemy

I know cus myself never been a friend to me

I am my worst bestest best frenemy

.

.

.

I have learned to love me for me regardless of what others have done to not love me... 

Still Breathing

I feel like I’m drowning...
I almost hit rock bottom but then I was brought to reality...
I woke up and realized I’m still breathing,
so I haven’t even gone under yet, apparently
Apparently I’m still above water
And I was reminded to just keep swimming..
Reality ..

Apparently.

Beautiful lines keep me alive .
They keep my blood running to mind.
Ignoring my heart and keeping my mind from pressing rewind.
We just press the forward button
My eyes focused on what I set them on.
Everything from before comes out as lyrics and songs,
Eventually.
Loving my life, living my life shamelessly.
Loving my life, living my life successfully.
Eventually

-Jaqueline Herrera

Marks on her Heart

Marks on her forearms like I've never seen

The marks go up to her shoulders and places that can't be seen

Like on her heart much deeper than the ones on her skin

Oh love, where have you been?

Where have you been for this woman I see

She's fine while I watch her watching me

But what happens behind the scenes?

I just want to approach her and tell her I love her

I don't even know her but I know what hurt her

Love.

or the lack thereof.

You've been stuck in this room in your head that you can't get out of .

Head down, bowed down to the devil

Straight down, that's how he gets you

Look up to the one, that's your refuge

Look up to the one, He can save you!!

I know what you see looking at me doesn't match up to what I'm sayin

But best believe when I'm feeling your pain, I'm down on my knees prayin

With much love to the girl on bart

Wherever you are

Wherever you go

-Jaqueline Herrera

R.I.P Tito

It’s been almost a month since Tito passed away. Tito passed on September 18, 2017. Things have not been the same since. We used to feel comfortable leaving the doors unlocked because we knew that he would tear anyone up that tried to come in the gate, now we have to lock the front door because Rambo won’t hurt anyone 😂

The other day, I had cops show up at the front door accusing me of animal cruelty. I couldn’t believe it. When I refused to give them any further information, they called for backup!!!! I was like, “seriously, go save a life or something.”

Could not believe it... ridiculous.

R.I.P Tito ♥️ 09.18.2017

Healthy Eating, Healthy Living

I have been enjoying eating healthy so much! Especially because I have been working out 4 times a week. It really does make a difference on how you feel throughout your day. I'll maybe give more details on my meals later on. Not sure yet. But!! I have been eating lots of berries, trying to chill on the MANGOS. 

I LOVE MANGOS! MANGO MANGO MANGO! 

So yeah, lol. I am also loving being away from any negative people that use to be in my life and learning how to stay away from them too. I love positive, loving human beings. This world really needs more of those people. 

This salad was simply a mix of baby spinach and butterlettuce with a Parmesan and Garlic Dressing and a little bit of Parmesan Cheese. I didn't have cherry tomatoes, grilled chicken or boiled eggs to add to it but it was still pretty great. The dressing was sooooo good! 

Thanks for reading this short post about salad hehe :) 

Stay Tuned for my upcoming poem! 

-Jaqueline Herrera  

Snapchat finds Rambo

September 2, 2017, I get a call at work informing me that Rambo was missing. Instantly, I wished I could leave and go look for him, but I couldn't. I waited 12 hours until I was able to go home. As soon as I got home my search started. It sure made for an interesting night. It was 4am and there was no sign of him anywhere. I started to cry wondering where he could've gone, if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he was scared, if someone had taken him and if so, were they treating him good? 

I couldn't help but lose my hope that I would find him. Rambo is smart, cute and one of a kind. He is so sweet and loving and understands almost everything when you talk to him... 

We have had multiple people come by and offer to buy him or ask to have him. This was my main concern, that someone took him and therefore would not give him back to me.

My next step was  going to be to make flyers and put a Cash Reward of $300 but seeing that it was 4am, I decided to get some sleep and take care of it in a couple of hours later. 

At around 7am, Roger came and told me that someone posted a story on their Snap Chat of a dog drinking water with the caption, " Is this anyone's lost dog by Food Barn?" 

We headed straight to Food Barn. Once we got there we asked a drug dealer on a bike if he had seen him, he told us where and we were headed there!!!! 

Automatically saw Rambo and yelled for him. He came running to me and jumped all over me. I had left my car door open and Rambo just jumped inside the car. My baby was ready to go home ... ❤️ 

We went straight to PetSmart to get him a name tag. We got home and I bathed him soooo good and he slept for 5 hours straight.. 

He was so tired that he fell off the couch while turning over in his sleep and didn't even wake up. He continued to sleep on the floor. 

My heart is happy. He is my family. I love you Rambo and I'm glad we found you. 

-Jaqueline Herrera