My Dreams Became More Real

My nightmares used to follow me in to the real life.
Now they don’t even come out at night.
I told all my sorrows goodbye.
Because one day I decided to walk forward and smile
That was better than falling to my knees to cry.
Now I’m happy all the time.
Because my dreams became more real than the nightmares that haunted my life

Thanks to everyone who reads.

-Jaqueline Herrera

Frenemy

First and foremost: Messy hair, Don’t Care

The important thing about healing is that you learn to be open about your feelings... here’s a poem I wrote a while back... I’m not ashamed to write about REAL LIFE, REAL FEELINGS...

My heart feels tired and it needs a break

A break from the hurt, the pain and the constant hate 

I need time to heal, time to build myself up 

I got broken down to the point of no love

Thats where im at . 

I got no faith, no love, no hope

Everything stripped from me and I gave it all

Once again, I gave it all

After this there’s nothing left of me 

Nothing left to give 

Stripped down to just my humility and my low self esteem

See through like a window but reflective like a mirror

A window you can't break and a mirror you look into. 

Crazy , Psycho, but we all got our issue.

You can try to hide it but you also have a mirror.

Fool the world into thinking you’re something you’re not

But at the end, there’s no one left and you’re all you’ve got

And if you’re not happy with that 

then you just found your worst enemy

I know cus myself never been a friend to me

I am my worst bestest best frenemy

.

.

.

I have learned to love me for me regardless of what others have done to not love me... 

Still Breathing

I feel like I’m drowning...
I almost hit rock bottom but then I was brought to reality...
I woke up and realized I’m still breathing,
so I haven’t even gone under yet, apparently
Apparently I’m still above water
And I was reminded to just keep swimming..
Reality ..

Apparently.

Beautiful lines keep me alive .
They keep my blood running to mind.
Ignoring my heart and keeping my mind from pressing rewind.
We just press the forward button
My eyes focused on what I set them on.
Everything from before comes out as lyrics and songs,
Eventually.
Loving my life, living my life shamelessly.
Loving my life, living my life successfully.
Eventually

-Jaqueline Herrera

Marks on her Heart

Marks on her forearms like I've never seen

The marks go up to her shoulders and places that can't be seen

Like on her heart much deeper than the ones on her skin

Oh love, where have you been?

Where have you been for this woman I see

She's fine while I watch her watching me

But what happens behind the scenes?

I just want to approach her and tell her I love her

I don't even know her but I know what hurt her

Love.

or the lack thereof.

You've been stuck in this room in your head that you can't get out of .

Head down, bowed down to the devil

Straight down, that's how he gets you

Look up to the one, that's your refuge

Look up to the one, He can save you!!

I know what you see looking at me doesn't match up to what I'm sayin

But best believe when I'm feeling your pain, I'm down on my knees prayin

With much love to the girl on bart

Wherever you are

Wherever you go

-Jaqueline Herrera

R.I.P Tito

It’s been almost a month since Tito passed away. Tito passed on September 18, 2017. Things have not been the same since. We used to feel comfortable leaving the doors unlocked because we knew that he would tear anyone up that tried to come in the gate, now we have to lock the front door because Rambo won’t hurt anyone 😂

The other day, I had cops show up at the front door accusing me of animal cruelty. I couldn’t believe it. When I refused to give them any further information, they called for backup!!!! I was like, “seriously, go save a life or something.”

Could not believe it... ridiculous.

R.I.P Tito ♥️ 09.18.2017

Healthy Eating, Healthy Living

I have been enjoying eating healthy so much! Especially because I have been working out 4 times a week. It really does make a difference on how you feel throughout your day. I'll maybe give more details on my meals later on. Not sure yet. But!! I have been eating lots of berries, trying to chill on the MANGOS. 

I LOVE MANGOS! MANGO MANGO MANGO! 

So yeah, lol. I am also loving being away from any negative people that use to be in my life and learning how to stay away from them too. I love positive, loving human beings. This world really needs more of those people. 

This salad was simply a mix of baby spinach and butterlettuce with a Parmesan and Garlic Dressing and a little bit of Parmesan Cheese. I didn't have cherry tomatoes, grilled chicken or boiled eggs to add to it but it was still pretty great. The dressing was sooooo good! 

Thanks for reading this short post about salad hehe :) 

Stay Tuned for my upcoming poem! 

-Jaqueline Herrera  

Snapchat finds Rambo

September 2, 2017, I get a call at work informing me that Rambo was missing. Instantly, I wished I could leave and go look for him, but I couldn't. I waited 12 hours until I was able to go home. As soon as I got home my search started. It sure made for an interesting night. It was 4am and there was no sign of him anywhere. I started to cry wondering where he could've gone, if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he was scared, if someone had taken him and if so, were they treating him good? 

I couldn't help but lose my hope that I would find him. Rambo is smart, cute and one of a kind. He is so sweet and loving and understands almost everything when you talk to him... 

We have had multiple people come by and offer to buy him or ask to have him. This was my main concern, that someone took him and therefore would not give him back to me.

My next step was  going to be to make flyers and put a Cash Reward of $300 but seeing that it was 4am, I decided to get some sleep and take care of it in a couple of hours later. 

At around 7am, Roger came and told me that someone posted a story on their Snap Chat of a dog drinking water with the caption, " Is this anyone's lost dog by Food Barn?" 

We headed straight to Food Barn. Once we got there we asked a drug dealer on a bike if he had seen him, he told us where and we were headed there!!!! 

Automatically saw Rambo and yelled for him. He came running to me and jumped all over me. I had left my car door open and Rambo just jumped inside the car. My baby was ready to go home ... ❤️ 

We went straight to PetSmart to get him a name tag. We got home and I bathed him soooo good and he slept for 5 hours straight.. 

He was so tired that he fell off the couch while turning over in his sleep and didn't even wake up. He continued to sleep on the floor. 

My heart is happy. He is my family. I love you Rambo and I'm glad we found you. 

-Jaqueline Herrera 

Genuine Love

Isn't he cute ?? Or was it a she ?? Lol, I don't remember.. not mine 😐

But anyways!! HAPPY FRIDAY!! 

I just wanted to post about how thankful I am for the genuine love that dogs give. 

One night, I remember being so sad and crying in the front porch, when my dog Rambo and Tito came and started to comfort me. It worked too! But I couldn't believe how much they really were worried about me.

They jumped up on me and laid their heads on my chest or lap. They made me so happy.. I really do love dogs. 

They truly are a best friend ❤️ 

Have a Blessed day everyone, 

Jaqueline Herrera . 

Sunday Funday

Hi everyone !

Today was a great day :) I spent all day working, babysitting Nathan, Julia and Baptiste. Nathan and Julia are siblings, I've been watching them for 4 years now. Baptiste is Nathan's friend from France. 

Anyway, it was a great day full of activities and fun and BAD food 🙄👀 

Julia asked me to do her hair, which is the purpose of this post LOL 😂 

Obviously you know this is Julia :) 

This is a Half-up Half-down hairstyle with a Dutch Braid at the top.....

A braided bun 

And of course, some curls to add even more style :) (DONT MIND THE STRAIGHT STRAND OF HAIR😂)

I'm thinking of maybe doing hair tutorials since I enjoy doing it... 

What do you guys think??? 

On another note: We went bowling and Nathan left my door wide open while we were at the bowling alley for like 3 hours... keep in mind that my CANON was in my car!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙄😒 My goodness🙈

Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to follow 😘😉

-Jaqueline Herrera 

LEGENDS

Legends everywhere.
But we all have a story.
Not all faces are painted on murals
Not every painting is a mural

Not every person is a hero

Not every story is a fairytale
Not every fairytale is a fairy tale
Not every ending is a happy one
Not everybody gets what they want
You can't always have what you want.
You can't always see the blind spot
Hence why they call it the blind spot
It'll make you collide
In this cold world, people just want to divide
Division is the the best weapon.

The weak can't take loneliness,

it puts an end to them .

Strengthen up.

Rise up.

Cuz it's a cold world.

Everybody’s got a story that's untold.

Adventure in Point Reyes

Are there even words to describe the beauty of this place?

I love everything about it.. It is just beautiful... 

There is beauty in imperfections. There really is. No matter how much we hate our imperfections, it is what makes us unique. It is what makes ME, ME and therefore, no one can be me, and no one can be you. <3 

Point Reyes is about 1hr 20min drive from where I live and what a beautiful drive it is. 
It was a perfect day to take pictures... It was a beautiful day in altogether. The drive was just so amazing ! I have to keep finding adjectives to describe the day and the views because if not, this whole blog post would be filled with the word BEAUTIFUL.

Here are some pictures of the views I would see along the road during our drive.

I do have a funny to tell, so here it goes....

I took blankets for this trip so that we could lay on top of the rooftop of the wrecked ship, and we did. This is what it looked like from the rooftop.

Ended up falling asleep for 3 hours up here. Watching the night sky filled with glistening stars. (So beautiful!)  We woke up at around 11:00pm to some noisey photographers. We got up to and realized the ship was surrounded by water!! SURROUNDED!!! This is what the ship looked like before the tide came in.

Land EVERYWHERE as you can see.

We had to figure out how to get off the rooftop of the ship and no, there are no stairs haha, we actually climbed to the top. I ALMOST DIED! Okay, not really BUT I did almost die climbing off. I had to be carried down.....-_- (I wish I knew how to insert face expressions haha, I'll get there) 

So after managing to climb down, 45 minutes later....We now had to find a way to get back to my car, through land ONLY (Irvin's strict rule that had to unfortunately be broken because there was NO land!.) So, I picked up the blankets and put them around my neck, picked up my phone on one hand, and my Canon on the other hand and I stepped down unto the water. 

MAKE A MENTAL NOTE OF THIS:  THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BOAT, JUST LAUGHING AT US! Eventually they ended up helping us by flashing their huge photographer lamps on the way we should go, since they knew where it was most shallow. 

Now there are several problems.

Problem No.1: Before the tide came in, the land had little creeks of water coming in, like the one on the picture below. 

So when the tide came in, the deeper creeks became a problem because they were now holes on the ground that we couldnt see. 

Which leads us to .... 

Problem No.2:  Irvin doesn't know how to swim. (sorry Irvin for putting that out there.) 

Short Story:

When Irvin was little he actually drowned. Therefore the fear of drowning remains and this could happen if someone falls into a hole that was not expected and they don't know how to swim. 

The water felt good actually, it was a bit warm and pretty good to swim in. Irvin did great too! He thought he could just do it all by himself, when suddenly he slipped in the hole, good thing he didn't lose his balance. The water was deep enough to come up to his stomach, and he is pretty tall. We came out alive HAHA. Had to trespass to get to my car and then cleaned up (somewhat) and we were on the road again. 

We passed a creepy town like something out of House of Wax or The Walking Dead. 

I also almost ran over a baby deer. (I don't know the correct name for baby deer soooo, that'll do hehe) Which scares me because what if there's a massacre in California like the one from Texas Chainsaw Massacre? You just never know.....

Anyway! 5 miles or so up the road from wherethe shipwreck is.....

there is a place called the Cypress Tree Tunnel. Real pretty, but nothing too extreme. (just sayin) BUT it IS very beautiful. Like a nice stroll for the family or alone with your thoughts, or with your dog or with someone you love or simply just to photograph.

Cypress Tree Tunnel

You don't need money for a trip like this. Just a car and some gas. Take some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if you wish.

 

 All in all, it was an amazing little getaway.

The best things in life are free.

Family, Love, Laughter 

Point Reyes Shipwreck

-Jaqueline Herrera

Party Week is OVER!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE !!!! 

(whoever it is that reads this silly ole thing hehe)

Alright, let me tell you guys how this whole week has gone. On Tuesday, July 18th, I wrote a blog post (Follow Me on My Journey) about my weight loss journey and how I was going to do this thing and blah blah blah blah bla, right? Right..

Since I said I would write about my progress, I decided to write about how I HAVEN'T progressed anything, here is a breakdown of the discouragements and disappointments of the whole week, including the food I ate.

Monday:
My personal trainer cancelled my workout, it was my first day of working out and I was so upset about that.  I had started off my day real good, with a strawberry protein shake and for lunch I had cauliflower rice and grilled chicken. Super healthy right? BUT as soon as he cancelled on me, my friend Monet (bad influence her hehe) invited me to dinner... and guess where... EL PORTAL, San Leandro (Best Mexican Restaurant in the Bay Area.) I had a super burrito :( Bad me...

Tuesday:
I woke up and I was like, "Okay Jaqueline Herrera, get yourself together, today is a better day." I brought my lunch on this day. I had Zucchini noodles and a very small portion of meat and I was set to go... Just to find out, I forgot my lunch at home!... so guess what? I had tacos for lunch, because my co-worker decided she wanted to have tacos! Ugh, it is just not going right... I thought to myself, it's okay, at least you're gonna work out later. Well, nope, because my trainer for that day, slept throughout our workout time. So there goes that for Tuesday. I did eat a pretty good dinner. I had my zucchini noodles I was supposed to have for lunch hahaha.

Wednesday:
I didn't give up on the act of trying, so after sending a very heated text to my trainer, my trainer decided to message me and encourage me not to give up. So I said, "Okay, I will see you at 5:30 today." Since my workout bag was in my car since Monday, I figured why not, let's work out tonight.... I am off of work and I go to my car to grab my workout bag aaaaaand IT'S NOT THERE! So now, I've about had it. I decided to go swim with my family instead. I don't even know what I had for dinner that day or lunch... but probably something bad.

Thursday:
Worked all day, so no time for workout and also, I had steak and fries for lunch and Calzones for dinner... Not good at all people.

Today:
I will simply have Zucchini noodles for lunch, and dinner.... well, sorry  to say Everette and Jones BBQ right before my Open Mic event which I am so nervous about.(stay tuned for that)

And that sums it up folks.. It has been a bad week in regards to working out and healthy eating. Sorry for it but next week will be a better week. I am disappointed in myself but I just have to get up and dust it off..

P.S All the food I ate this week, has been sooooo good.... but soooooo bad. My co-worker said "Party week is over." 

Agreed.. for sure. 

I know yall can relate to this post.. because getting started after stopping is HARD.

-Jaqueline Herrera

Butterflies

Tick-tock , tick-tock

A snail is moving faster than the hour hand of this clock.

Fantasy when she closes her eyes might make it race,

But as long as Reality is taking place, time will move at a slow pace.

Being told there is excitement sounds almost like a dream,

That she is being missed is more to her than it may seem.

And what's happening inside, is something she can't show, it can't be seen.

Fluttering so fast ,

She's wondering where it is going.

How long will it last,

Or maybe the wind won't stop blowing.

The pretty version of the moth she had encountered,

Is now inside her fluttering, she is glad it found her.

-Jaqueline Herrera

I hope someone understands this poem.

Follow Me on My Journey

I'll have to take the stairs to my office now instead of the elevator (LAZY JACKY!)...Seriously -_-

Okay. Here we go....

I decided to do this because I am really bad at self motivation or discipline when it comes to working out and eating right. I love unhealthy, fatty foods and IT'S GOT TO STOP! Seriously... haha. I also decided to do this because not feeling good about myself is not an option for me and I do not want to get to the point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror. (This happens to people.) I used to be in really good shape and was very active, this all stopped when I stopped playing volleyball. Although I am not in HORRIBLE shape, I do want to get back to where I was or even better. I want to be fit and healthy!! I now play volleyball again and I am starting to become more active so LET'S DO IT! 

I am blogging about this, honestly, to push myself. I figured, "Okay, if I make this public, and give my weight out, then I better push hard because if not, I'll just look like a fool and .... a fatty (haha). Most people do this after they've achieved their goal. Most people plan on posting after they achieve their goal and NEVER post (I'm guessing because they didn't achieve it.) Well, I'm posting throughout this journey, periodically. I will be doing a lot of cooking (I hope) and pictures of my food on my blog, (I guess I have to now, since I'm saying so...) At the end of the month, I must talk about the progress or whatever results I have... So, here we go.. I wont be posting completely everything but I will try to post the important stuff. Hopefully I can keep up.

Side note:
I know people read this blog because I'm going on 1,000 views in less than 4 months. Now that right there, is pressure. (Nervous laugh)

Side note No.2:
I am no professional, soooo I won't be counting calories or looking at ingredients or anything professional like that (sorry), BUT I am going based on what I have learned and researched (Thank you Google).

Side Note No.3
I was an athlete before, so I do know what I am doing haha...

Side Note No.3.5 I am training with a prior Professional Soccer Player, who played for El Salvador so he also knows what we are doing.

Stay tuned for my weight and my weight goal.
How about that ^ for some blog views. (HAHAHAHA)

Oh this is great, I love blogging.

-Jaqueline Herrera